I remember when I first was able to just put this sadness out of my mind and get back to work. I was an intern and have to say, it was pretty weird. Strange how you can just adapt to these feelings and push them aside in order to be functional.
Now… where was I?
I was recently listening to an interview with Martin Amis and he remarks at one point, “no none ever gets over anything…contrary to the conventional wisdom that what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger–no it doesn’t, it makes you weaker and kills you later on…”I’ve thought a lot about that statement. And I don’t think he’s completely off the mark. Maladaptive coping does make you weaker and sometimes does kill you in the end. When we talk about ‘putting our grief aside’ I have to wonder what that really means. Is that when we shut off our empathy and get on with our jobs? Or is that when we don’t allow ourselves to feel for someone else and the pain they might be suffering, at all…? Because the latter has shades of ‘personality disorder’ written all over it. I’ve often taken my emotional pulse in a tragic situation and been shocked at how little the event seems to be bothering me…I’m more concerned that my lines are labeled for transfer than if the person is going to make it. YIKES!What kind of broken human beings walk around fixing all the other broken human beings???
Ack! Another cheerful comment brought to you by the sleep deprived girl with a head cold. Where did I put that NyQuil…???
I wanted to pick up one of his books and write a post with at least some frame of reference. The only one I could find was “Einstein’s Monsters.” I don’t know what his fiction is like, but the guy could use an occasional giggle.While his statement is not completely wrong, it is not completely right either. Our response to a stressor determines if it will strengthen or weaken. Even with continued strengthening, we need a break from the continued stresses or the eustress will become distress.Martin Amis may not get over anything, but that does not mean that others live so much in the past.I do not see putting grief aside as bad. It is necessary in this line of work. Wallowing in grief is not healthy.You ask – “What kind of broken human beings walk around fixing all the other broken human beings???”Well, what kind of human beings do not help other human beings?I would probably be much more broken in a non-helping line of work. Not that they would have me.Eventually I may finish this book, occasionally I am able to wade through molasses. Maybe I will read “Time’s Arrow,” since it is an interesting title. We have such a childish view of time, but I don’t know where his book goes with this. I will eventually write a post on this, since it is worth discussing at length (I don’t mean longer than usual posts).