Without evidence of benefit, an intervention should not be presumed to be beneficial or safe.

- Rogue Medic

Shock Trauma Infested With Evil Spirits

I thought Shock Trauma was a bit loopy with their insistence that all trauma patients be flown to the world famous R Adams Colwey Shock Trauma Medical Center, to avoid other trauma centers. It appears that this has resulted in a haunting at Shock Trauma Medical Center. The top doctors there have been using Reiki Masters to scare away the evil spirits.

There is an article,[1] with some entertaining video, about this foray of Shock Trauma into the realm of Darth Vader Medicine.[2] The article does not limit itself to the non-chemical voodoo of Shock Trauma, but mentions the problems with the related witchcraft of herbal/natural/alternative medicines. The defense[3] of Shock Trauma. We’re crazy, but we’re not that crazy. We do not give any poisons to people. We just try to convert them to our religion. Don’t believe in reiki? They will not force it on you, but they will have their reiki salesmen and saleswomen giving you the hard sell.

Hard sell? I want a room that isn’t haunted to begin with. I’m not paying for any Spirit Wrangler to chase the evil spirits out of my room.

Of course not. Remember the most important part of the hard sell. Convince the victim that it isn’t going to cost them anything.

Reiki is FREE!

If reiki is free, who pays for it?

You do. The same as with the FREE helicopter ride that allows them to bypass real hospitals, where there may be doctors who practice real medicine. The salespeople just hide the costs of the Reiki Masters.

You don’t really believe the fantasy of the free lunch, free helicopter ride, and free reiki? Do you? In the end you pay for it. Since the costs have to be manipulated in a way that makes them seem to disappear there are a lot of unnecessary expenses.

If I am going to have some stress relief prefer Ghostbusters or Monty Python.

At least Shock Trauma is basing this on research.

There is no research showing a benefit from reiki. The attitude of Shock Trauma is that they can’t harm the patient with this. It is a form of relaxation therapy.

What about relaxation without the Dancing Feng Shui Masters?

That would probably appear too conventional, but they might arrive by helicopter to make it seem more dramatic.

Sorry. I forgot to think like a true believer.

I wonder if I can get them to write a prescription for a stripper for me. Strippers have been known to redirect blood flow without even touching the person. And remember, make it FREE! As long as there is no lap dance, it can’t be any less scientific than reiki.

They claim to be studying the use of acupuncture, but appear to be making the same mistake as I wrote about in Eureka – Conventional Treatment Plus Placebo Beats Conventional Treatment Alone. They will be pointing out that the acupuncture placebo is a genuine treatment, because when they added acupuncture placebo to conventional treatment, the patients felt better than when the patients received conventional treatment without the acupuncture placebo. This is exactly what you would expect from a placebo.

This is at an academic medical center. The gullibility of some people is amazing.

Hey, there!

Been in an accident?

Energy out of alignment?

Call 911 and we will fly you to the only trauma center in the country that will have witchdoctors in scrubs play with your energy in order to scare away the bad energy.

If we hooked you with our BS about the Golden Hour, that we just made up and kept repeating until you believed it, you will love this!

Reiki! Sort of a religion, but we receive federal money, so we act as if it isn’t religion.

Remember, just convinve somebody that there is a dent in your car, we will fly you here for FREE! and then we will set our Reiki Masters FREE to do stuff to you.

Act now. The Bogus Hour is being wasted while you think.

Don’t think, just act. There is still time in the Bronze Half Day, or at least the Limestone Week.

Come visit our Sandcastle in the Sky before it washes away.

Don’t forget to ask about our lifetime guarantee.

The one below worries me. Look at that touching. Isn’t this like the game Operation, where the buzzer goes off if you actually touch the patient. How can you be manipulating the evil spirits, if you are touching the patient? Isn’t the whole defense of this treatment that they are just manipulating the energy, not the patient. Maybe they just need to manipulate the people in the room. As long as they believe in something the placebo is working. The upper most picture is an impressive one – it rubs the rod on the bowl. I guess you need to have the live reiki concert to scare away the worst of the evil spirits.

Unproven Remedies
In this photo taken on Oct. 24, 2008, nurse Donna Audia performs Reiki on a patient at the University of Maryland Medical Center in Baltimore. (AP Photo/Rob Carr)

Footnotes:

^ 1 AP IMPACT: Alternative medicine goes mainstream
Associated Press
By Marilynn Marchione, AP Medical Writer
Mon Jun 8, 3:33 am ET
Article

^ 2 SHOCK TRAUMA OFFERS ALTERNATIVE THERAPIES FOR PAIN MANAGEMENT
Patients Can Have Reiki, Music Therapy and Acupuncture in Addition to Medication
September 5, 2007
Press Release

^ 3 UMMC Statement About Potentially Misleading AP Alternative Therapies Article
UMMC press release in response to the AP article.
June 8, 2009
Press Release

This was covered a couple of days ago at Respectful Insolence.
The infiltration of woo into medical academia continues apace.

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Comments

  1. First of all, If you are going to write an article about how bad and BS reiki is you should at least do even the slightest amount of research to learn what reiki actually is. Reiki is about directing “Life Force Energy”. Now regardless if you believe in this “Life Force Energy” it doesn’t change the fact that it has nothing to do with “spirits” or “Ghosts” Furthermore even if it is just a placebo it still helps! Does it actually cost anything extra? NO! I’m speaking from personal experience here! Donna Audia who you openly bash in your article is not hired by the hospital specifically as a reiki specialist, as you seem to describe her but instead she is a nurse! She does reiki as something extra! The hospital doesn’t pay her anything extra for doing it! I was a patient at this hospital for many months and during that time Donna was my nurse but she also did reiki on me in the PACU (if you don’t know what the is you have no right to be bashing this hospital or even writing this blog) and on my parents while I was in surgery. All of us agree that is does help. And as a final note the title of this article is ridiculous. It creates an image of ghosts and poltergeists which i assume was another ploy of yours to make this hospital and the people in it look incompetent and unsafe. I don’t know what your problem is with this hospital and there staff but they are providing a WAY more important public service than you are.

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