Without evidence of benefit, an intervention should not be presumed to be beneficial or safe.

- Rogue Medic

Southern Style Granite – Just Another Anti-American Business

If you believe what has been written by Ambulance Driver, Looking Through A Pair Of Pink Handled Trauma Shears, Robert J. Wilson, Bullet Points, TOTWTYTR, Earth Bound Misfit, Queen of the Dogs, The Supersonic Reflectoscope, Of Mule Dung and Ash, Adventures of a Drama Filled Mom, Old NFO, The EMT Spot, American Atheist, Weird and Pissed Off, Tiger Droppings, Care2, Adventures of a Drama Filled Mom, Void Where Prohibited, and Dan Savage, then Southern Style Granite’s owners need to know that you are not gay before they will treat you like any other customer.

Have they ever provided a granite counter top to a band camp?

Maybe Southern Style Granite’s owners just spend a lot of time cruising the gay bars in Baton Rouge (a city name that just screams home to closeted gay home decorators) and don’t want to be outed?

Maybe Southern Style Granite’s owners just never call their boyfriends back after one night stands and don’t want to have to face them, so they came up with this excuse?

Maybe Southern Style Granite’s owners just aren’t any good in bed and they don’t want anyone to spend enough time with them to recognize them with their clothes on?

What if the customers are straight, but the husband is white and the wife is black?

What if the customers are straight, but the wife is white and the husband is black?

Don’t be stealing our white women?

Really, where do they draw the line. Since Southern Style Granite’s owners take their customers’ sex lives so seriously, I need to know what to expect before I make a trip to be discriminated against. Yes, it is legal for a business to refuse service to anyone, but it is just as legal for customers to refuse to patronize those who promote hatred.

What if the customers are straight, but the wife is Christian and the husband is Jewish?

What if the customers are straight, but both are Muslim?

What if the customers are straight, but both are Buddhist?

What if the customers are straight, but engage in orgies?

What about size? Am I big enough to be a customer? Am I too big to be a customer?

Why are these bigots still in business? If I wanted advice on sex, wouldn’t I go to someone who has a reputation for knowing something about sex?

Since Southern Style Granite’s owners seem to have taken a stand on acceptable sexual activity, we need to know if we cross their acceptable line.

I am not going to to their store, but if I did, I would have to start the conversation in the most respectful way. I would not want to accidentally offend Southern Style Granite’s owners’ prim and proper, genteel values.

Guys, this is what I do in bed – Wait a minute. That’s not accurate. I do not like to limit myself to the bedroom. I have even gotten a bit kinky on the occasional kitchen counter top. You will, of course, let me test drive one of these granite counter tops, as long as I test drive it in a completely heterosexual way, right?

But, I haven’t really explained what my limits are sexually. I need to know that you approve of anything that I would do, otherwise I will just have to throw myself out of your uptight repressed sex-obsessed presence.

Is there a questionnaire, just like in a dentist’s office?

Is third base legal? Why? It isn’t strictly missionary, but when does it become an acceptability problem?

Do you permit oral gratification?

Male on female, or only female on male?

Is anal OK, if the people involved are of opposite genders?

What about with toys?

Where is the line drawn?

What if the customer is straight, but only has sex with sheep of the opposite gender?

What if the customer is straight, but only has sex with little kids?

Why isn’t Southern Style Granite’s owners doing something about kiddie porn?

What kind of kiddie porn is Southern Style Granite’s owners hiding?

Maybe Southern Style Granite’s owners are using this as a way of distracting people from a thriving Southern Style Granite kiddie porn industry?

If I walk in there with a child, will they demand to know if there is anything sexual going on before selling anything to me? Or before waiting on me? Or will Southern Style Granite’s owners offer me a discount for some time with the kid?

What if I am with a woman who just looks twelve, even though she is old enough to be legal, and we are groping and carrying on, and there appears to be a relationship of the Biblical nature?

Do Southern Style Granite’s owners ask for proof of age?

Do Southern Style Granite’s owners ask for her phone number?

Where do Southern Style Granite’s owners draw the line?

Southern Style Granite’s owners wouldn’t have to draw any line if they didn’t start this kind of discrimination, but now that they have the world needs to know.

How do Southern Style Granite’s owners get their rocks off?

Do we approve of the way that Southern Style Granite’s owners get their rocks off?

If Southern Style Granite’s owners are not willing to be specific about what they do, with whom, and where, they do not deserve any business.

Why should anyone allow this double standard?

Maybe Southern Style Granite’s owners are happy to judge others, but don’t think that the sex lives of Southern Style Granite’s owners are the business of anyone else?

If Glen Beck is able to obtain a sex tape of Southern Style Granite’s owners – together or separately, or with inflatable friend, or with poultry, or with whatever – I am willing to help broker the sale – to The Daily Show.

Southern Style Granite’s Owners – We are so NOT GAY, that we refuse service to anyone who is not as NOT GAY as we are.

And can we interest you in a lovely floral arrangement to go with that very butch granite? Maybe we can have our stock boy drive it home for you.

We are just right. Very medium rare.

What’s with all the pink?

Am I suggesting that pink is bad?

Not at all. I look good in pink, or I don’t look any worse in pink than I do in any other color.

Southern Style Granite’s Owners seem to have a problem with pink and with rainbows.

America is a land for people who value freedom.

Southern Style Granite’s Owners are opposed to having others exercise any freedom – and they are willing to put their money where their prejudice is.

.

Comments

  1. Evil, pure evil.

    I like it!

  2. Thank you for passing this along. This treatment is ridiculous in our day and age.

  3. Excellent post. These bigots need to be outed every chance we get.

  4. Absolutely beautiful!

  5. Holy crap, that was awesome!
    You rock! (No pun intended, of course).

Trackbacks

  1. […] Driver, Rogue Medic, Robert J. Wilson, Bullet Points, TOTWTYTR, The Supersonic Reflectoscope, Of Mule Dung and Ash, The […]